What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Why am I so jealous towards couples? Why am I tired of being single and feel my life is over?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

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Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

How did Kate Mulgrew feel about Jeri Ryan joining the cast of Star Trek: Voyager?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

How do Flat Earthers explain time zones?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What! how could you do that?

Do you know what she said mum?

What were some of the unforgettable incidents from your school life?

What do you mean son?